Sloth Concern

Sloths are amazing creatures. Look at that little face. Permanently cheerful. I think it might be because their brains are roughly the size of a cherry pit, which makes me think that us 'big-brained' simians haven't got it as good as we'd like to think. Thinking is where we go wrong. If time travel was possible I would like to go back in time to the moment when the first sloth-like pre-human was about to use a twig to hook his dinner out of termite mound and ask him: "Have you really thought this through?"

Maybe it would be hard to explain the stress of keeping a car on the road, the 22% rise in gas prices and my worry that my pension won't be enought to support me when I retire, but I'd like to try.

Jam Eggs

Many year ago someone told me that the little tiny bits in raspberry jam were ant's eggs and that if I ate them a colony of ants would infest my lower brachial tract and possibly cause irreperable damage. For years I eschewed this very popular jam for this reason, often embarrassing myself at social functions with my muted screaming and protestations. Then last year my Mother confessed that the whole thing had been a joke that she and my Father had played on me. The eggs in raspberry jam are, in actual fact, seeds and thus completely harmless.

I no longer speak to my Mother.

Plastic Time Capsules

Aren't cassette tapes fascinating?

I don't understand how they work. Apparently it has something to do with magnets and waves and sound and lightning can make them go blank. Several years ago I got a cassette tape caught in my casette tape player whilst playing a cassette of "Frampton Comes Alive!" that I taped off a Peter Frampton Comes Alive live concert on BBC Radio 2 in 1978 and half way through "Penny For Your Thoughts" the vocals started to sound a little strange as if Peter Frampton was singing under water or through a sieve filled with pieces of melon and all the thin black shiny tape started coming out of the cassette player at a rate of knots.

I never did get to hear "Jumping Jack Flash".